im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
