proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
