even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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