Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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