So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
