his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
