so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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