real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
