If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Randomize
