Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Vodka?
Forever.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
