Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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