4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
thus making me awesome and them whores
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
