Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
