Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
And then my night got REAL pukey
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize