who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
