Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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