I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
