this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize