U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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