mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
