omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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