whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
We were destined to go to rehab together
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
