no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
