You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
