it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
