I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
