Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
