I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
They took my balls.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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