Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
