I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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