I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
