end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
