I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
