I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
He felt like a one man threesome
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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