Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
