we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Randomize