Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize