She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I want her autograph on my taint
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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