I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize