I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
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