What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
