Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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