is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
