I queefed so loud it echoed.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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