god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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