Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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