talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
