this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
