I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Randomize