New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
