I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
