I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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