It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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