If that was your dad, he is hot
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
