think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
