I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I lost the right to judge tonight
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
