I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Randomize
