i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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