bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
