I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
