does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
