WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
