cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
