I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
