Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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