i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
