In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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