is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
