his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize